Thursday, July 9, 2015

Kaden Barr - birth story

It's crazy to think that my last post was two days before my life was flipped (turned upside down) haha couldn't help myself.
My sweet baby boy, Kaden Barr Kahalewaimaikalani Anderson, was born May 14th, 2015 at 11:55pm, weighing 7 lbs and measured 20.5 inches.

So, on the 13th, I had my doctor's appointment and he had told me that I was *almost* 3cm and still 80% effaced, from my last appointment. He stripped my membranes (OUCH!!) and went ahead and scheduled an induction date for the 1st of June and wanted to see me back next week. However, as I was leaving he told me "I would be really surprised if you made it to your appointment next week..." Uhh...things just got real for me right then and there...you mean I could have a baby in the next week?! AH!
After my appointment, I was having contractions...not Braxton Hicks, either. These felt different but they were not consistent at all so I brushed it off. Plus, they went away an hour later. My mother in law came over that afternoon to help me decorate the nursery and then I went to the rink. As I was there, my friends teased saying I could have a baby and they don't think they'll see me tomorrow for work (Learn to Skate). I was so sure they were wrong because it didn't feel like it was happening THIS soon....but you guys were right!

Right before bed, I noticed after I went to the bathroom that there was a lot of fluid that was different than discharge. I shrugged it off and went to bed. Well, of course I had to get up to go to the bathroom a few hours later and noticed that it was thinner and more abundant. So, as I came back to bed I said to Kaleb, "Sooo...don't freak out, but my water may have broken". He was half asleep and mumbled an "uh huh okay" and went back to sleep. Well, when he got up that morning, that changed! He was FREAKING out and kept asking me questions and became more anxious when I didn't have the answer. So, to calm his mind, I called the after hours line at my OB's office and left a message. Kaleb went off to the gym and came back and I still hadn't heard back. So, as he showered and got ready for work, I decided to call the hospital labor and delivery line, just in case. I explained to the nurse that I thought my water had broken and she told me to just come in and have that fluid tested, just to be sure. I told Kaleb and was surprisingly calm about it and even told him he didn't need to come - I was so sure it was nothing. But, he was insistent that he be there and called his boss to tell him he would not be at work that day. I took my time in getting my hospital bag and diaper bag together and didn't bother showering or putting makeup on because I figured I would be back to do all that later that day. OOPS.
So, we made our way to the hospital at 8am and my nurse was doubtful that my water had actually broken, but went ahead and did two different tests.
Side note: I was SO glad Kaleb ended up coming with me because they wanted me in a hospital gown and to stay in one of the delivery rooms.... SO DAUNTING!!
At 9am, she came back with a surprised look on her face - the fluid tested positive and that meant my water had indeed been broken!! I was having a baby today!
They quickly put the IV in and put me on pitocin since I hadn't felt any contractions yet. I knew I wanted an epidural and the nurse told me I could get it now before the contractions hit, but I was TERRIFIED. I wanted to wait as long as I could to just put it off...
Around 12:30pm, I felt one contraction and the nurse happened to be in my room and asked me what I was waiting for...did I still want the epidural? I gave her the green light and 15 minutes later, the anesthesiologist and his assistant came in. His assistant was the one who ended up doing it and I was freaking out...full on shakes all over my body! But I think some of it was from the fact that they upped my IV which made me cold.
Everyone was right...it felt like a little bee sting when they numbed the area and I was really worried for nothing. I didn't like feeling the pressure though...I could feel the catheter going up my spine, but also the assistant wasn't doing a great job and took FOREVER to get it in place, whereas when the tech came and helped him, he did it in one try and in 30 seconds haha.
My legs quickly fell asleep but I could still wiggle my toes - WEIRDEST FEELING EVER. Shortly after though, I began to feel really dizzy and tired and I tried telling my nurse but I was fading fast. I remember hearing an alarm going off and she put an oxygen mask on my face but everything at that point was really fuzzy. Kaleb had just gone to the bathroom in the room and I was worried because I couldn't see his face and that's all I wanted.
Apparently my blood pressure had dropped a lot and quickly from the epidural and they just needed to lower the amount of meds I was getting and everything leveled out. I remember feeling terrified because I felt like I was drifting away but was fighting to stay cognizant. But, as soon as everything leveled out, I felt just fine...
And then the waiting game began.
And the several refills of flavored ice chips. YUM.
My parents luckily got onto the next flight out to Salt Lake and my father in law picked them up around 6:30pm. At this point I was dilated to a 7 and was completely effaced and ready to go. At this point, I started barfing which I guess is normal when women hit 8-9 centimeters? Whatever that's what my sweet nurse said so I believe her. ;)
My parents got in around 7:30pm and I was still at a 7. My dad and FIL went to go get dinner and while they were gone, I was now measuring at a 9!
At 9:15, my doctor checked me, told me I was at a 9.5, and said he would be back in 30 minutes to start the pushing. I don't think that registered with me because I was still in disbelief that this was all happening...I was going to meet my son soon.
Well, 9:45 rolls around and 5 minutes later, I start pushing. After about an hour of pushing, they asked if I wanted a mirror. I was never interested in seeing the birth actually occurring but I figured it would give me motivation because everyone kept saying I was doing so well but didn't feel like I was progressing. It's incredible what a difference it made! I suddenly had this burst of energy and was able to push harder because I was getting so excited!
At 11:30, my doctor came in and said I was close but his poor little head was stuck under my pelvic bone and had to make his way under it and then things will start to happen fast.
He was right! I wanted to have this baby on the 14th, so another burst of energy came about and just 20 minutes later, my baby was here.
Kaden was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and never have I ever felt such an intense amount of love for someone I had just laid eyes on.
He was so alert and his cry was so little, I was worried something was wrong. He had his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck - which was surprising to the doctor because his vitals never faltered. What a champ.
They laid him on my chest immediately and he and I just locked eyes as I was bawling my eyes out. He was here. And he was mine.
We stayed at the hospital for 2 more days, coming home Saturday afternoon. I'm so grateful for ALL the nurses I had...they were an incredible team.
Almost 2 months later and I cannot believe how incredibly blessed I am to have such an amazing baby.
There are no words to describe the love I feel for my baby boy.
Welcome to the world, Kaden!




After being hooked up the epidural...there's the magical button to up the dosage, if needed.


The Proposal...SO many good movies were playing!










Tuesday, May 12, 2015

How I told my family I was pregnant...

When the laundry is done, the house is clean, and the dishes have been put away...
I guess I'll blog about how I told Kaleb and our parents that I was pregnant.

So, you have to know, in October 2013(yes, two months after we got married) I told Kaleb I wanted to have a baby. This came as a shock to him because before we got married we were both very much on the same page about when we would start our family (after we were both done with school, so about two years). I was extremely baby hungry in October and it even caused a rift in our relationship because I thought it was because he didn't want a baby or start a family with me (ugh dramatic Deanna is NOT my favorite). We finally came up with a compromise - lets pray about it and go to the temple to find out if starting our family was meant to happen this soon. After weeks of praying and attending the temple, we had a very sweet moment together at the temple where we both received a very clear answer - our time would come in August. It was so comforting to know that the Lord was so mindful of us and we were both satisfied with the answer we received. So with that, here's how we found out we were pregnant!

Kaleb
So, I found out I was pregnant on September 9th. It was a Tuesday and I was supposed to start my period that previous weekend. 
Thursday the 4th rolls around (the day I'm supposed to have my period) and I bought a pregnancy test from the dollar store, just in case. Nighttime comes around and no period so I took the test and it was.....negative. The next morning I told Kaleb that I had taken a test and that it was negative and how sad I was. He told me not to worry and that it might just be too early to tell and to try again after the weekend. Well, I am super impatient, so I bought another dollar store test and tried again only to get another negative. It was at that point that I totally broke down and was mad/sad that I wasn't pregnant. All weekend I was a mess and feeling really down so I texted my friend Ali to ask if she had success with a dollar store test (and she had...which made me a little mad and a lot jealous that I wasn't receiving the same results) but she was great at just reassuring me that it might be too early and wait a couple days and try again. So I did.
Tuesday, I went to Smith's and bought the expensive kind (ugh pregnancy tests are expensive!!) on my way to the rink. My friends/coworkers were already there at the rink because we had planned on skating together before we had to begin teaching the college skating classes that day. I ran to the bathroom and quickly took the test, praying SO HARD that I would see a little + sign. After the longest 3 minutes of my life, I looked down to see the test was POSITIVE!!!
Yeah you bet I took a picture. I was in shock it was such a clear positive!!
I could hardly focus after, but I went on the ice and skated...but I was careful, only doing stroking and a few easy spins. Definitely didn't jump! I was already starting to feel paranoid ;) All day while teaching, I was thinking of ways to tell Kaleb when he texted me that he had tickets to go to a Real Salt Lake meet and greet and how we were going to that.
It was the longest event EVER. I wanted to wait and tell him when it was just us so I waited for us to get home. But, on the way home I casually mentioned that lemon poppyseed muffins sounded really good for breakfast and asked to stop at the store. He's so kind and without hesitation said "oh sure!" So, we get home from the store and I open up the muffins and sit on the couch, asking him to sit with me. I took a bite and then asked him to hold out his hand. I placed a poppyseed in his hand and he promptly threw it into his mouth. Silly kid. I placed another one in his palm and held it open and told him, "this is the size of your child right now".
He kinda smiled while looking at the poppyseed but I saw the light go off as his eyes snapped up to meet mine and asked if I was serious.
After I told him "uh, yeah!!" he immediately pulled me in for the biggest hug I think he's ever given me and we both started crying. In that moment, my heart grew and I felt a deeper love for my husband and future father of our children than I ever thought was even possible. 

Telling the In-Laws
We decided that we wanted to tell my in-laws that next Sunday, the 14th. It was really soon to start telling people but I'm horrible at keeping secrets and if anything were to happen, I would rather my family know rather than tell them after the fact.
The night before, we bought two books - "Guess How Much I Love You" and wrote in each of them "Please read to me May 2015!" as the method of how we would tell our parents.
Sunday, we went to my in-laws for breakfast and had a gift for them as a way to say thank you for putting together our new apartment for us while we were in Europe for a couple weeks.
Ahhh it is so fun to let people we love in on our little secret!!

Telling my parents
My parents came into town on the 18th for one of my good friend's Elise's wedding that weekend. That night, we gave them their gifts that we brought back from Europe....and one extra ;)



Next doctor's appointment is tomorrow morning!! I'm so excited to see if I have progressed anymore!!

Friday, May 8, 2015

38 Weeks

I am "almost" 2 cm and still 80% effaced as of yesterday!
There are only 2 weeks left until my official due date.
Doctor doesn't think I'll make it that long, but also thinks he's still got some cooking to do.
So, basically I'm just confused and I'll just stick to having May 22nd as my goal ;)

How far along? 38 weeks. Size of a spaghetti squash. (19-22 in, 6.5 lbs)
Total weight gain: about 23 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes yes of course...but mostly the same ol' BYU shirts and stretchy pants!

Stretch marks? Ugh yes let's move on.
Best moment this week: Finding out that I am *almost* 2 cm! 
Miss anything? Feeling like a normal human...none of this pain in my hips or my back.
Movement: Yes! He still reacts to Kaleb's touches on my belly more than mine. Last night he wasn't moving and it kinda freaked me out so I was saying his name over and over and rubbing my belly and then he finally stuck his little tush out and it was the sweetest moment! He hasn't responded to my voice or touches quite like he does with Kaleb so that was a nice moment to have :)
Food cravings: I know it's horrible but I crave Dr. Pepper!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing this week made me feel sick so thank goodness!
Gender: Boy!
Belly Button in or out? Out. 
Wedding rings on or off? On! Monday was the first time it was really difficult to get my rings off because I was so swollen! I had to hold onto an Otter Pop to get my fingers to shrink haha
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy because we are packed, ready to go! And his nursery is done. So so so happy!!
Looking forward to: I have another appointment next Wednesday... so really looking forward to seeing how much progress my body and this baby has made!

Friday, May 1, 2015

37 weeks

GUYS.
I am dilated at a 1 and 80% effaced!
That is NUTS!
I freaked out when the doctor told me and frantically asked if he thinks the baby will come early.
He reassured me that I probably have a couple more weeks - especially considering he's my first.
I guess we will see next week if I have progressed anymore!
I'm just ready to be snuggling this little boy!
(and not being pregnant anymore ;)

How far along? 37 weeks. Size of a honeydew melon. (19-22 in, 6.5 lbs)
Total weight gain: about 22 lbs
Maternity clothes? I like wearing my maternity jeans and sometimes I'll wear those "maternity" v-necks but it's mostly just exercise clothes for me! They are stretchy enough to fit over this large belly and they breathe! It's been warming up around here lately so the breathable material is definitely appreciated ;)

Stretch marks? Ugh yes on my hips blah blah 
Best moment this week: At my doctor's appointment this week, he checked my cervix (ouch...) and told me that I was dilated to a 1 and 80% effaced (WHAT!) sooo that was exciting!
Miss anything? Oh my gosh my hips and pelvis KILL. Round ligament pain is very real, my friends. Best part? When I asked my doctor what to do about it, he said, and I quote: "Absolutely nothing. Actually...you can get this baby out of you". Awesome, thanks Dr. Jones.
Movement: Mmm yes. The kicks used to be like pops, but now they are just stretches, with the occasional hiccups. I know no one likes hiccups, but I especially dislike unborn-baby-hiccups. Having your belly pulse for a good 5 minutes = not fun. I'm sure baby gets frustrated, too!
Food cravings: Otter pops, otter pops, otter pops. I bought two large bags at the store on Monday because I know I will go through them quickly...
Anything making you queasy or sick: Sometimes a particular cereal will make me feel nauseous. It's strange...baby is developing a taste for cereals already!
Gender: Boy!
Belly Button in or out? Out. Weird. Same old.
Wedding rings on or off? On!
Happy or Moody most of the time: TIRED. I really miss sleeping through the night. If I don't get a nap during the day, I am one grouchy mama! Literally.
Looking forward to: My next doc appointment is next Thursday, so I am excited to see if I have dilated anymore!

Monday, April 27, 2015

36 Weeks

You guys.
Nesting is SO REAL. 
It's only 8:30am and I've already made breakfast for me and Kaleb, made smoothies, cleaned my living room, and deep cleaned/organized my fridge. 
Why? Good question. 
I just started cleaning up after making smoothies and I couldn't stop! Also, we rearranged the nursery yesterday and started organizing clothes, blankets, etc. and made a list of things we still need. I am obsessed with getting everything perfect and ready - especially considering my due date is less than 4 weeks away! I am such a planner and I just want everything ready to go.

How far along? 36 weeks. Size of a large cantaloupe. (19-22 in, 6 lbs)
Total weight gain: about 22 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes...I should buy more but I'm cheap and don't want to buy too many clothes that 
won't fit after a few months. So, I wear a ton of my old BYU shirts that used to fit big but now fit juuuuust right. Also, lots of exercise clothes...stretchy = the best. 
Stretch marks? Yup, on my hips. I cried the first time I noticed them. Now, I know that this is just a sign that I'm earning my stripes as a mom. And, even though I have days where I'm weaker and it ultimately gets to me, my precious baby will kick and remind me that he is so much more important than some marks on my body. Plus, Kaleb is a champion and makes me feel beautiful. I have such wonderful boys to keep me sane ;)
Best moment this week: Oh my gosh, where do I begin?! I had a doctor's appointment (c'mon, those are the best because I get to hear his cute little heartbeat), my parents came into town for the weekend, I graduated college, I had a baby shower...a weekend of best moments, that I can't pick just one.
Miss anything? Sleeping through the night! Also putting socks/shoes on without feeling like I just ran a marathon. No pain in my hips. You know, the usual. 
Movement: All the time! Doctor said that he is head down with his bum under my ribs on the left and his feet at my ribs on my right side, so he is in a cramped C position...and I definitely feel it! His stretches and kicks feel like he is going to stretch through my skin. Not an exaggeration. 
Food cravings: Anything sweet - fruity sweet. I haven't had very many cravings lately, but fruits ALWAYS sound good.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Eggs still :( I tried them for the first time in months and I still can't do it!
Gender: Boy
Belly Button in or out? Out. It's like a button...it looks so weird.
Wedding rings on or off? On!
Happy or Moody most of the time: HAPPY!! I can't believe we are so close to meeting him! Also, can I still make tired an option? 
Looking forward to: Meeting this baby boy! Only 3-4 more weeks!




Sunday, March 29, 2015

32 weeks

8 months.
32 weeks.
Holy cow.
Is this even real life? Are you telling me that I get to meet this little guy in just two months?!
I absolutely cannot believe it.

How far along? 32 weeks. Size of a head of lettuce (19 in, 3.7 lbs)
Total weight gain: about 16 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yeah, sometimes. I mostly have been wearing my exercise pants because I teach skating so often but occasionally I'll whip out my maternity jeans or a stretchy skirt...especially since it's getting so warm!

Stretch marks? A couple showed up on my hips :( But they aren't long...they're like dots. It's weird.
Best moment this week: My doctor's appointment! I now have them every two weeks instead of every 4 and once I hit 36 weeks, I have them every week. I love getting updates about this little babe as well as getting to hear his heartbeat <3
Miss anything? Just being comfortable. His kicks are HUGE now so when he's awake, he is AWAKE and moving around like crazy. It can get uncomfortable.
Movement: Haha see above.
Food cravings: Fruits! All kinds. Oranges are still my number 1. If I eat one, I have to immediately have at least 2-3 more to satisfy my craving.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing in particular...
Have you started to show yet: I feel like I should just delete this question haha
Gender: Boy boy boy
Belly Button in or out? Out. Still weird...
Wedding rings on or off? On!
Happy or Moody most of the time: TIRED. Can that be an option?
Looking forward to: The fact that I only have a month until I graduate!!!


Monday, March 16, 2015

30 weeks + baby shower

Well, I'm officially 7.5 months! Time has flown by, yet stood absolutely still. I can't believe this pregnancy is in the home stretch, yet I feel as if I've been pregnant FOREVER. 
This last weekend, I got to fly home for the weekend! What a crazy busy weekend we had! I flew in Friday afternoon and flew out Sunday morning, with a baby shower on Saturday. It was incredibly fun to see everyone and especially nice to see my family - their first time seeing me pregnant in person! Mom teared up a bit...but are we really surprised? ;) haha love you mom!

How far along? 30 weeks. He's the size of a butternut squash this week! (17 in, 3.1 lbs) 
Total weight gain: about 14.5 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yeah, sometimes. I can still wear some of my "normal" (lol) clothes which is great!

Stretch marks? None on my belly! yaaaaayy
Best moment this week: Going back to the best state in the country and also seeing my family :)
Miss anything? Being able to put my shoes on without it feeling like an ab workout
Movement: Oh yes!! When I got home on Sunday, Kaleb was bonding with baby boy and every time he would put his hand on a specific part of my belly, he would start kicking me there. It was one of the sweetest moments we have had yet this pregnancy. Baby loves his daddy so much already! 
Food cravings: Still oranges and grapes and strawberries...I guess I should just say fruit. Also, the days leading up to going home, I was craving pho HARDCORE. My craving was satisfied Saturday evening after my baby shower. We have a staple pho restaurant that we would ALWAYS go to growing up and they have the best wonton noodle soup. I was in heaven - so was baby. I swear he started doing somersaults in there after I was finished eating.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Certain things at different times. Like this morning I was making breakfast and was chopping up mushrooms and gagged several times. I don't like mushrooms anyways, but the smell has never made me nauseous so that was fun.
Have you started to show yet: Uh yeah 
Gender: Bouncing baby boy!
Belly Button in or out? Definitely out. Still weird to me.
Wedding rings on or off? On!
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy/Moody ;)
Looking forward to: The fact that on Monday (today) and Wednesday, my early morning class is canceled which means I get to have my morning to just relax!


So, the baby shower was adorable. My mother did an AMAZING job with the decorating and the food!
It was so good to see everyone - I'm glad you could all come! This baby is so loved, it blows my mind <3






Best friend did all the games and they were FANTASTIC - thank you for helping so much! 

Thank you mom for putting so much time and effort into this shower - you're the best and I can never adequately express how grateful I am for you! You're going to be the best grandma :) Love you!

Monday, March 9, 2015

So...I'm pregnant. 28 weeks

Oh hi there.
I remember when I used to post updates...and then I'm not sure what happened.
Oh yeah, I got pregnant.
Hello baby bump!
I have been obsessed with reading mommy blogs and birth stories...mostly because I'm anxious for my own delivery and so any information I can get now is great for me!
I've noticed that a lot of mommy blogs post weekly updates on their progress throughout their pregnancy. Even though I'm in the third trimester and pretty much almost done, I thought it would be awesome to look back and see my various stats during this home stretch.
So go ahead and read it. Or don't.
here we go:

How far along? 28 weeks (as of last Friday...I'm 29 weeks now haha oops. I'll post another update...maybe)
Total weight gain: about 13 lbs
Maternity clothes? I actually just bought my first pair of maternity jeans last weekend! I have been okay with just wearing leggings and exercise pants for the last 7 months, but I really started to miss wearing jeans and feeling...not pregnant haha. So I bought some jeans and OMG they are the most comfortable thing EVER. I'm grateful I 
haven't needed to buy maternity clothes for this long, but man have I been missing out! I also bought some cute v-neck shirts that are technically maternity tops but they don't cinch at the side, they're just wider and longer so they cover the bump. Again - THE BEST.
Stretch marks? Not on my belly! My chest on the other hand... #poorboobs
Best moment this week: Had a doctors appointment and everything is going great! He is measuring normal and his heartbeat is strong :)
Miss anything? Haha not having any pain in my back? That is the WORST, especially when I'm sitting in class for a long period of time.
Movement: ALL THE TIME!!
Food cravings: Grapes!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Eggs and I still aren't friends yet. I haven't been able to eat eggs since the first trimester.
Have you started to show yet: Ummm yes. I no longer get the looks people give of "is she pregnant or just kinda fat?" ;) I am carrying him more outward than round so you can definitely tell!
Gender: Boy!
Belly Button in or out? Definitely out! As someone who has always had an "in-y", this is especially weird for me.
Wedding rings on or off? On!
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy, but lately I've been emotional. I've heard this comes back around during the third trimester. Awesome.
Looking forward to: I'm going to California this weekend for my baby shower! I'm so excited to be going home! It'll be the first time I'll be away from Kaleb since we got married so it'll be a little weird, I think :)